Dear Sir or Madam,
By ‘Gigi de Domai’, I refer of course to the Russian female nude model, pictured below. I ask in all politeness and sincerity, is this woman your girlfriend?
You say that she is? Oh. Congratulations. You must be very proud. And so must she.
Did you take these photographs, down in the woods? I expect that you did. What sort of camera do you have? Really? That is interesting. I have a digital one, with a lens, and a button I like to press. Do you mind if I, also, take a few photos? The scenery is very pretty here.
They are very artful, your photos. I say that because I do not normally like outdoor shots of the nude ladies. I always wonder what the beautiful young lady is actually doing in the woods, with no clothes on. Is she lost? Is she derranged? Were her clothes stolen? The scoundrels! Now Poor Miss Gigi must cover her nakedness, lest a complete stranger with a camera happen to walk past and see her.
Also, another issue is causing me to become fretful. As she is naked in the outdoors, I cannot help but wonder if she will get ant bites on her legs or grass seeds in her pubic hair, which would be most unpleasant, although I can see you have taken precautions against that by decreasing the area of exposed hair. As ever, you are prepared, sir (or madam).
But suddenly, it has occurred to me that there could be a perfectly normal explanation for her naked presence. She is bathing. I have trouble with my water service at home sometimes, too. Of course! That is why she has no clothes on, otherwise she would have gotten them wet! Where are they, her clothes? Are they on the riverbank nearby? Watch out for those clothes thieves from before.
I see now that she has let her hair down. In preparation for washing it, I assume. Very good. Knowing you, you probably have a shampoo with you that is specially formulated to work in cold Russian snow-melt streams. Ingenious.
Then I expect she will dry herself with the towel that you so can ably provide her, dress herself, and the two of you will have a picnic, dining on the outdoors from a basket of local produce, fruit, cheese, and perhaps a little wine, although not to the point of inebriation, a state unbecoming to such a cautious gentleman (or woman) as yourself.
But look, now the poor dear thing is shaking with cold. It is time to be getting her dry. Where is that towel you were talking about earlier? In times like these it does not pay to be tardy. The prudent course is to get her out of that river and back to somewhere warm, as fast as possible!!
Of course, you will not mind if I accompany you, as you will require assistance with your vehicle, and also protection from some of the rascals that are known to abide in these woodlands.
Sir, or madam, it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance I am sure I will be seeing a great deal of both Gigi and yourself in the coming years.
(See more Gigi at www.domai.com).