Schedules are for wimps (and me, unfortunately)

Michelle and I have been experimenting with chastity (mine, never hers) on and off for the last few years and after rigorous testing we have recently decided it is definitely The Way To Go.® This blog is really the story of our relationship after that decision was made.

Previously, a two- or three-week stint of chastity would be followed by a month or two of regular sex for both of us before I started to be chaste again, usually of my own accord. But now that Michelle has decided to take the full control I have been offering her, the situation has changed; I get a single orgasm followed immediately by a return to chastity. The issue arises: how often is that going to happen?

The problem with schedules for me is that they run the risk of increasing my focus on orgasm rather than diminishing it. I am not really into femdom arrangements where the guy is ‘allowed’ to come once every week or two, dependent on his good behavior. That seems based on the view that men are naturally incapable of controlling themselves and that their sex drive must be used against them in order to extort decent behaviour. This may work for some couples but neither Michelle or I want it. We want a situation in which my own self-control is seen as manly and erotic by her, and can be used to satisfy her when ever she desires in a variety of ways.

Another factor is that I get needy and a bit neurotic when I know that sex and orgasm is coming; not so much as I used to when I was younger, but it’s still there. I end up wanting to control the sex and the circumstances around it, but at the same time I want it to seem spontaneous. I do not really enjoy it if there is too much time to anticipate.

You can see why it is better that I have no control at all over when it happens. Basically the best situation is when I have no idea I am going to come until I find I am in bed with Michelle and she is making me groan like a dying gladiator. The next day the metaphorical blindfold goes back on and I am free from my stupid nagging thoughts about what the next sex-act will be like, and when it might be.

And until recently I had assumed that Michelle would probably want me to come like this about once every two weeks or so, maybe once a month, largely for her own gratification in seeing me squirt, so the whole issue of scheduling wouldn’t arise.

But it is lately becoming apparent to me that Michelle would be quite happy with much longer periods of chastity; and therefore, so would I. Neither of us really want to have sex on a schedule. It’s not very erotic.

The possibility of long-term denial is delightfully erotic, on the other hand, but it does raise the spectre of prostate and testicular problems down the line. I am planning a larger post on the potential links between male chastity and prostate health at some point; all I can say now is that there is genuine concern that never or rarely ejaculating might be a cancer risk. As we don’t know for sure, we need to be on the safe side, which basically means ejaculating to clear the plumbing about once every week or so, either with milking or ejaculating.

There’s also the problem that I indicated in my last post. After about three weeks in chastity I’m so intensely into her that she never gets moment’s peace and I can’t calm down. So maybe it’s best if we never get to that stage, and I come once every two weeks or so.

Either way, we’re back to schedules again, and I know roughly when it’s coming. Rats.

In the scheme of things these are obviously Nice Problems To Have®, but I wouldn’t mind sorting this out sooner or later. Hopefully we can figure out a way of making a schedule seemed unplanned and spontaneous. And also, that I can stop being such a dick-brain and just not think about it so much. The more we do this, the more relaxed I get about the whole issue, so I think things will be OK if we keep going this way.

But I’ll admit I’m also fantasizing about that great imagined day when the Organization for Prostate Risks Involved in Chastity (O-PRIC) publish a report on the subject, which provides incontrovertible proof that not only does chastity not harm the prostate, but it is actually good for the prostate and for all other areas of wellbeing, like stress levels, stroke rates and heart disease!

I imagine Michelle, upon hearing the news, turning to me with a sweet, girlish expression on her face and saying:

‘Sweetie, you might as well forget about coming for a long, long time.’

5 thoughts on “Schedules are for wimps (and me, unfortunately)

  1. 😀 The last wishful thinking is very funny. That would be really cool and sexy. Imagine men with prostata-, heart- or stress-problems would get into chastity by a medical prescription! Wow!

    Otherwise it’s really nice the way you handle your situation and that you are so clear-minded about what you both want.

    Have a nice weekend!

  2. We went through a similiar process. When we first started my wife liked the idea of Lady Misato’s point based system where I had to “earn” an orgasm. My wife, however, found grading my housework, etc, took some effort and really didn’t ‘do’ anything for her. After that she tried a couple of other methods but found she didn’t like those either. Now she is on a completely arbitrary system. She doesn’t keep track of my orgasms at all, but allows me to have an orgasm when she feels the time is right. The first six months of our arrangement it averaged out to about one every two weeks. That doesn’t mean I got an orgasm every two weeks. Sometimes I’d get two in a week to remind me how good they feel before making me wait three weeks. Since that six month mark I’ve again avereaged one every two weeks, but instead had three in ten days, then waited five weeks before the next one. It really messed with my head and I hope to not go that long without again, although when I did get to cum I could have cried with joy.

    Good luck with your non-system system!

  3. Thanks for the comments, guys.

    We’ve recently settled on about once every two weeks. Ostensibly I will get no idea exactly where its going to be within the end of the two week period, but opportunities for sex can be limited considering how busy we get, so in reality I suspect it might be pretty obvious when it is going to come. But it is necessary at the moment.

    All for her: glad to hear your wife has found a system that works for her. She sounds kind of awesome, but sorry to hear about the five weeks. Three and a half does my head in.

  4. We’re another couple that doesn’t believe in schedules or some kind of lottery or game of chance. My wife’s attitude on that is “Who’s in charge, me or some dice?” IOW, if she can’t have access when she wants, then what good is being a keyholder?

    I hear you on the going crazy after three weeks. I found that the first couple of days after being locked up would be very intense, but it would level off. Then I’d hit another point after about three weeks that would just ramp me up again.

    The cure for that seemed to be just keeping me locked even longer. Eeeep!

    Mrs. Edge experimented with how long she would keep me locked up. Since she prefers intercourse, it would typically be a week or so, although it would be up to her if I would get to come. After we discovered a good strap-on harness and dildo for me to wear, she began experimenting with longer and longer times. That’s when we found the three-week mark for me. However, she would continue to push her own limits, and after another week or so, I would level off again.

    We’ve done some pretty long-term denial play using a CB3000. For me, I’ve found that I will reach a point where I’m not sure that I want to come.

  5. I found that the first couple of days after being locked up would be very intense, but it would level off. Then I’d hit another point after about three weeks that would just ramp me up again.

    Yep, that’s it. I’m probably at my best between about a week and two and a half weeks; for sex, and just generally for being chilled and comfortable. We might try longer periods once we get used to it but at the moment it’s still a little fragile.

    Anyway, thanks for your comment.

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