Apparently I’m “kinkier than most”…

…according to the Hotlanta Kink Test, anyway.

My score of 501 to 600 means I’m more than just a “kinky player”, but not a major league kinkster like The Enigmatic Angel, from whose blog I learned about this test. Not that I’m competitive or anything…

The scores go like this…

100 or less – You need to lighten up and live a little!
101 to 200 – You have an average sex life in need of kink.
201 to 300 – You have sweet hints of a kinky nature.
301 to 400 – You have kinky playful tendencies.
401 to 500 – You are definitely a kinky player.
501 to 600 – You are kinkier than most!
601 to 700 – You are a major league kinkster!
701 to 800 – You live and breath kinky!!
801 to 900 – Wow! You’re too kinky for most!!!
901 or more – SUPER FREAK ALERT! You da BOMB!

The questions range from simple vanilla stuff like “do you like oral sex?” to hardcore stuff about bestiality, and I wonder about the weightings given in each section. I have to say as well, there’s not much in there from a D/s perspective. There’s really only one question specifically regarding my type of kink, and nothing at all about chastity, CBs, domestic service, face-sitting or any other femdom norms. I probably lost points on questions like “have you ever been videotaped in a public dungeon?” and there were no basic femdom questions for me to pick up those points later in the game!!!

Not meaning to whinge like a little baby, but WAAAAAHHHH!!!!! RIGGED!!! UNFAIR !!! etc.

So, in the spirit of sub-equality, here’s some questions on which I would have scored very highly, had they been included in the test.

The scoring for each one is:

  • Yes, all the time (3)
  • Yes (2)
  • No, but I like the sound of that (1)
  • No (0)

And the questions are:

  1. Does your partner constantly make you give him / her massages and then laugh when you ask for one?
  2. Does your partner routinely deny you orgasm and then mock you when you get frustrated?
  3. Have you ever used a queening / kinging chair?
  4. Does your partner smack your face or bottom as a way of chastising you?
  5. Do you fantasise about your partner chaining you up in the kitchen to do housework while s/he lounges around drinking champagne?
  6. Do you basically think your partner’s body is the best thing in the entire world?
  7. Has your partner ever pulled your hair so hard during oral sex that some of it came out?
  8. Does your partner address you by demeaning terms?
  9. Does your partner make you beg to make them come?
  10. Do you make short or long-term verbal or written contracts with your partner concerning your service to him or her?

Anyway, head on over and do the real test yourself and see how you go – bearing in mind you have to join Hotlanta to do it. If this seems like the kind of thing I’d only do if I had too much time on my hands, well, I plead guilty to that. Michelle is away, she has been all week, and the only instructions she left me with were about things I was not allowed to do. So that hasn’t exactly taken up a whole lot of my spare time…