…according to the Hotlanta Kink Test, anyway.
My score of 501 to 600 means I’m more than just a “kinky player”, but not a major league kinkster like The Enigmatic Angel, from whose blog I learned about this test. Not that I’m competitive or anything…
The scores go like this…
100 or less – You need to lighten up and live a little!
101 to 200 – You have an average sex life in need of kink.
201 to 300 – You have sweet hints of a kinky nature.
301 to 400 – You have kinky playful tendencies.
401 to 500 – You are definitely a kinky player.
501 to 600 – You are kinkier than most!
601 to 700 – You are a major league kinkster!
701 to 800 – You live and breath kinky!!
801 to 900 – Wow! You’re too kinky for most!!!
901 or more – SUPER FREAK ALERT! You da BOMB!
The questions range from simple vanilla stuff like “do you like oral sex?” to hardcore stuff about bestiality, and I wonder about the weightings given in each section. I have to say as well, there’s not much in there from a D/s perspective. There’s really only one question specifically regarding my type of kink, and nothing at all about chastity, CBs, domestic service, face-sitting or any other femdom norms. I probably lost points on questions like “have you ever been videotaped in a public dungeon?” and there were no basic femdom questions for me to pick up those points later in the game!!!
Not meaning to whinge like a little baby, but WAAAAAHHHH!!!!! RIGGED!!! UNFAIR !!! etc.
So, in the spirit of sub-equality, here’s some questions on which I would have scored very highly, had they been included in the test.
The scoring for each one is:
- Yes, all the time (3)
- Yes (2)
- No, but I like the sound of that (1)
- No (0)
And the questions are:
- Does your partner constantly make you give him / her massages and then laugh when you ask for one?
- Does your partner routinely deny you orgasm and then mock you when you get frustrated?
- Have you ever used a queening / kinging chair?
- Does your partner smack your face or bottom as a way of chastising you?
- Do you fantasise about your partner chaining you up in the kitchen to do housework while s/he lounges around drinking champagne?
- Do you basically think your partner’s body is the best thing in the entire world?
- Has your partner ever pulled your hair so hard during oral sex that some of it came out?
- Does your partner address you by demeaning terms?
- Does your partner make you beg to make them come?
- Do you make short or long-term verbal or written contracts with your partner concerning your service to him or her?
Anyway, head on over and do the real test yourself and see how you go – bearing in mind you have to join Hotlanta to do it. If this seems like the kind of thing I’d only do if I had too much time on my hands, well, I plead guilty to that. Michelle is away, she has been all week, and the only instructions she left me with were about things I was not allowed to do. So that hasn’t exactly taken up a whole lot of my spare time…