Your Gorgeous Polish Girlfriend, Episode 3
You have been getting a bit fed up with your GP girlfriend lately. Maybe the honeymoon phase is over…although the sex is still amazing. It’s not that she isn’t incredibly hot, or smart, or funny, and she can be really supportive too; in fact she recently did a whole bunch of photocopying and filing for you, because you got behind at your new job. (She made you pay her back in cooking, though).
The problem is that she keeps calling you these patronizing names, when other guys are around, like “darling,” or “lovely”, or even worse, “sweetie.” It’s just emasculating.
Last night she even called you “sweetie” in front of her ex-boyfriend, Richard, and you had to put up with his superior smirks and jibes for the rest of the night. Then he called you “sweetie” once, while she was in the toilet, and you had no comeback at all.
It’s just downright disrespectful, that’s what it is!
So you’ve decided to show her you won’t stand for it. When you get home from work, you head up to her bedroom to confront her. Unfortunately you get a little caught off guard by the fact that she’s in her underwear, doing a sketch of herself for her drawing class, looking in a full-length mirror. But you’ve got a head of steam up, so you go ahead regardless.
‘Hey, I want to talk to you about something.’
‘Can it wait sweetie? I just start this, I have to do it tonight.’
‘No it can’t wait,’ you say, puffing yourself up and putting on a deep voice. ‘It’s important. It’s about what happened last night.’
‘It’s OK, I decide to forgive you,’ she says. She still hasn’t turned around.
‘What? Forgive me for what?’ you say.
‘You ask Richard to come along, then you are competing with him all night. A bit boring for me, but it’s OK. I understand.’
‘That’s not actually what I wanted to say,’ you say.
‘OK, so what do you want to apologize for?’ she asks.
‘I…I don’t want to apologize for anything!’ you say. This is proving to be harder than you thought. ‘Actually I was thinking YOU should apologize for something.’
‘What?’ she says.
‘Uh…I said I think you should…well, it’s about last night.’
‘What did you say?’ she asks again.
‘Well…it’s just the things you keep calling me.’
‘Just these pet names you have for me. Like “cutie” and “sweetie”.’
She looks scornful, and mystified. ‘That’s all?’ she says. ‘You asking me to apologize for that?’
‘No..it’s just that…’
‘You just say you did! What are you talking about? Do you want me to apologize or not?’
The moment is getting away from you. You better put your foot down.
‘Yes. I do,’ you say. (Sometimes, you just have to stand your ground, right?)
‘OK,’ she says. ‘No. I not going to apologize for that. That’s dumb. You should be happy I think you are so sweet.’
Then she turns around again and goes back to her sketch, leaving you floundering.
‘Uh…well, can’t we talk about it?’
‘I said what I think,’ she says.
‘Well, I haven’t. I don’t like being called those things. It’s humiliating…’
‘I call you something else worse in a moment,’ she says.
‘And particularly in front of Richard.’
‘Why Richard?’ she says.
‘Well, because he…like you said, he gets very competitive with me. Anyway I don’t see you calling him names like that.’
This remark is met with a cold silence.
‘Honey?’ you say. ‘Are you going to respond to that? I said, you don’t call Richard names like that, do you?’
‘So you want me to think about you like Richard?’ she says.
‘Yeah,’ you say, then instantly realize this is a bad idea.
‘OK,’ she says, turning to face you. ‘You are a jerk, and rubbish in bed. I only see you any more because my dumb boyfriend always invite you to to the pub, even though he don’t like you either. There, that’s what I really think of Richard. Happy now?’
Her delivery is completely deadpan and she’s looking at you like you are brown and floating. Worse, you can’t think of a single thing to say in response. She continues:
‘So, if we finish our little talk, can I go back to my sketch now, sweetie?’
‘OK I won’t apologize but maybe I stop teasing you so much. And if you really, really want me to stop calling you that, I stop. But I think it’s silly.’
She’s still laughing. Somehow, this is more emasculating than being called the names in the first place.
‘Um…actually I don’t mind when we are alone,’ you say.
‘Good. So, only not when boys are around?’
‘Yeah. I just think it’s a bit demeaning…’
‘But you are so sweet,’ she says. ‘And very cute too. You always doing things for me. It’s lovely. So I just want to call you those things so everybody knows.’
‘Yeah, but…’ This has gone too far now. It’s not the names you really mind, at rock bottom, and you know it. You are going to have to tell her what’s really on you mind.
‘OK look, the real problem is…you know, that old thing about how girls go for bastards. Sometimes, I feel like you respect guys like Richard more than me. You don’t think he’s sweet or cute or whatever. Maybe you think he’s kind of…dangerous.’
‘Yes, I know what you mean,’ she says, still smiling. ‘Actually I do think that about some boys, sometimes. But not Richard. He’s just a jerk. I already say that. ‘
‘OK, well…maybe I’m just jealous.’
‘What’s that?’ you say.
‘If I wanted to be with a guy like that, why would I go out with you?’
Then she giggles, pokes out her tongue, turns around, and goes back to work.
NOTE: This got listed in SUGASM 157. Here’s the reciprocals for y’all.
This Week’s Picks
A 2009 Wish For Smut Writers
“Sex bloggers are on the cusp of what I see as being a new kind of sexual revolution.”
Q&A with Domina Doll
“I enjoy teaching others how to explore that aspect of themselves.”
“He kissed the side of my neck, sweeping my long hair out of the way, working his mouth across the side of my neck to press little bites along my collarbone.”
Sex Work And Honesty: When The Truth Hurts
Dictation with Davis
(Sugasm participants should re-post all the links above within a week. The following links may be excluded as long as you include all the above links.)
Thoughts on Sex and Relationships
Autobiography of a Masturbator: Porn O’Graphicus, Part 6
Banging on the Bongs
How NOT to Talk About Size and Sexuality
Lessons I’ve Learned (so you don’t have to )
The Recruiting Process
Anal Sex Precautions
Erotic Writing and Experiences
And With Your Eyes
Dick Meets Jane…Again
Fire and Ice
If you come to a fork in the road, take it
Middle School Fantasy
A Quick Fuck in a Shadowed Corner
She Walks in Beauty, Chapter 2
Stripper Academy: Visiting Professor
The Summer of Roses
The Workout Part One
Your Gorgeous Polish Girlfriend Keeps Calling You Sweetie in Public