Things are…awkward. On top of the stress of the move and the new job, I have had to deal with a family death over the last few weeks and my former relationship with Michelle now seems like it belonged to another life. And our review date is only three weeks away.
I have been drinking a lot, not a good idea I know, and Michelle dislikes it and is worried about long-term health problems. I can see myself going into abstinence from alcohol as well as back into submission in March. That would be good for me, but right now I am pretty messed up and things are not really working out.
Michelle is still wonderful and sexy throughout it all. Recently she told me that she had a dream in which she was “chasing some hot lesbian action.” I’m not sure why she used that exact phrase, but that was just how she told me. I do not think I have ever been more interested to hear the details of another person’s dream. If she told me she was dreaming about another man I would have been freaked out, but this was quite different. I was as anxious and inquisitive as a gangly twelve-year old taking their first look at a porno mag down behind the back shed. “What was it like? What did you do? What was she like?” Drool, slobber.
Sadly, Michelle couldn’t really remember anything about the dream other than that there was another woman, and that they were getting it on. But she did tell me that it was one of those dreams where she gets extremely aroused but finds herself unable to come. She has told me about these before.
“I dream I am masturbating, or having sex, but for some reason I just can’t seem to get there. Then I wake up, wet as anything and think, ‘oh, that’s why. I wasn’t actually touching myself.’ Then I finish myself off.”
God that’s HOT.
After she told me about the dream she jumped on me and fucked me. I woudn’t have minded being the woman in her dream, but being me was just fine, too.
Anyway, I’ve had that image in my head lately, of Michelle lying there dreaming about masturbating but not being able to come. A dream in which you can’t come seems like a decent of analogy for our life at the moment. It’s on the cusp of something wonderful and amazing, but things keep getting in the way and we just can’t get it over the line.