Having spent the last few months in ‘voluntary’ chastity – that is, chastity which was basically my idea and which my wife was not insisting upon – I can tell you that there is a very big difference in the feeling of this and the feeling of ‘willing’ chastity, which is where Michelle asks me to be chaste, and I willingly accept.
(Enforced chastity, with devices, and a hint of reluctance on my part, is somewhere we haven’t been yet. We might someday. It’s not really up to me at this point).
For the whole period of our hiatus I remained mostly chaste, having one lapse but otherwise orgasming about once a week, just to keep the tubes clean, and the rest of the time not even edging, or thinking about sex much. It was a very sexless time.
Since our conversation on Monday night I have been willingly chaste – that is a period of under a week, you will note – and I have been horny as hell and constantly finding reasons to approach Michelle and be near her, to smell her, to touch her skin.
Obviously the D/s dynamic makes everything much more sexy around the house but really the difference is hard to credit. That amazing glowing feeling has come racing back, by Thursday it was well etsablished and now it colours everything nearly I think and feel. I probably spent as long or longer without coming during the hiatus, and felt nothing like it.
Chastity rules, but for me, it really does need to be associated with self-denial in the service of my wife. A while back I said to Thumper that even if the D/s thing didn’t work out, I’d still be chaste. I’m no longer sure that is true. The feeling of self-imposed chastity is just so different. It’s kind of…lonely.
Man its good to be back. We had sex last night (she demanded I make her come) and then she rolled over and said “that was really nice. By the way, you get nothing tonight, other than the pleasure of serving me. Sleep well.”
I find that incredibly affirming.