Letter to the Captors of Gigi de Domai

(Pssst…Not met Gigi before? You can go back to read Letters to Gigi episodes 1 and 2 or carry on with the Russian silliness here.)

bed 1

(click for larger files)

Letter the third:

It is with a heavy heart that I write to you, Ivan Scrazanic, the true leader of the Russian underworld, with a plea of the utmost sincerity. You must release poor Gigi de Domai from the servitude to which you have bound her.

semion-mogilevich-3

Oh, Scrazanic! It is not merely that you have taken poor Gigi from her home by the water and kept her as your pornographic plaything. For that offense alone I might forgive you, especially if you continue to provide me with these photographs.

What I find untenable, even despicable, is that you have dressed her like an air hostess and made her wear scarlet lipstick. Even the bedclothes have the appearance of cheapness. It is beyond tolerance. Remember, you have my romantic hopes in the palm of your hands. If you can’t release her, at least choose a better setting next time. russian-mafia-tattoos-12

bed 2

And on top of the pain of her appearance, it is the company she now keeps. I see she is allowed no privacy at all, for she is watched over night and day by this most uncouth and disreputable fellow. I hope she does not have a thing for tattoos.

bed3 russian-mafia-gang

And there is worse. If one cruel captor was not bad enough, now there are three present in the room. Surely, one fellow to work the camera and the other to hold the lights would have been enough. I hate to imagine what role the third man played in this sordid scene you have composed for yourself. I don’t really like hardcore, you see. It reminds me that what I am looking at is actually porn, and not pictures of my would-be girlfriend. I get jealous of these men, Scrazanic.

And what men they are, with which she must mingle!! Look upon their lardy, indolent bodies. I assure you, villain, that my Gigi does not prefer these men to my own considerably more meager form! (I know they have a lot more cash than I do but I am working on that. I have extra shifts now.)

petrvoenmalyshevOh Scrazanic, what have you done? This was a girl who was once so fresh and virginal, posed in innocence beside the water, with sand upon her bottom like a schoolgirl! Now you have her all made up  in a way that, let’s face it, really doesn’t do anything for her at all. Far too much eye-liner, to begin with.

Damn you, Sir! You do not deserve to look upon her – except perhaps for the purpose of taking photos and putting them on the internet.

Gigi, I am coming soon, my love! I will rescue you and we will return to our Czarist innocence once more! No more pornography for you!

In the meantime, could you just pull your bra down slightly so we could all have another look at those? Thank you, my dear. Excellent.

bed4

(These  shots of Gigi taken from here. Go to Domai.com for more.)

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