A Bowl of Wine

Two weeks into chastity and I’m normally feeling pretty hyper-masculine and penis oriented. I am the MAN! But after nearly four – and I’ve never been this far before – I’m finding something else is emerging, and it’s kind of good, but pretty weird.

I have a strongly feminine sense that I am carrying around something almost sacred within me and that I have to be very careful otherwise it will spill.

I guess an obvious image to show here would be of a young African girl carrying a bowl of water on her head, but I don’t quite feel like that. While there is certainly an aspect of service, and also of something kind of pre-modern, I feel that I am carrying something more exotic than water. In my mind, it is like a bowl of wine that I am carrying at waist level. In one sense it is outside of me, but it is also inside; the bowl inside me occupies the space between my perineum and navel. It is almost full to the brim,  so I need to be precise and delicate when I move otherwise the contents will be lost upon the ground.

As I said, this feels like a form of service, to be made to carry this precious liquid a long distance and not spill a drop. But I also feel that I have great power as well, and that at some point when the time is right, maybe tomorrow or maybe a long time from now, my mistress will ask me to perform the libation and I will be allowed to lift the bowl up above my head and pour the wine out on the ground, like the goddess Aphrodite in this picture.

aphrodite_480

When I imagine this happening, it is as though the contents of the bowl have emptied out inside my body and I can feel waves of vague, tingly pleasure spilling down through my stomach and into my legs. This has happened twice. I didn’t deliberately try to do this, the visualization just came naturally, and I felt like that.

I have never felt anything like this before. I have imagined that I might feel like this, but it has never before been real. When I first began experimenting with chastity, I read some stuff about Tantra and Taoism and other kinds of spirituality in submissive sexuality, and have tried various exercises but this is the first time anything of that kind has happened for me. and it is basically happening of its own accord. It’s kind of awesome. Strangely, my actual urge for orgasm seems to be taking a breather and I am not ragingly horny like I have been up until a few days ago. Kind of a relief actually; but it’s possibly also just the eye of the storm.

Steve.

4 thoughts on “A Bowl of Wine

  1. Four weeks, and achieved without a lock? You are in the superman league and in uncharted waters for most of the rest of us. Sixteen days is my record and I could not think about anything other than unloading. When your “ragingly horny” state returns will it be at an even more intense level? And when she finally lets you cum how intense will it proove to be? Marathon runners talk about the “wall” of pain they have to get through. You are out the other side. How long does Michelle imagine that the Tao in your head can control your lust. You are hero and heading for sainthood! A fitting subject for a Masters dissertation? F.

  2. How long does Michelle imagine that the Tao in your head can control your lust.

    I don’t know! When this period began she said “You’re not coming for absolutely ages.” Then more recently she looked at me with a mocking smile and told me not to worry because it wouldn’t be any longer than six months.

    I suspect she intends for it to be a very long period of time.

    When your “ragingly horny” state returns will it be at an even more intense level?

    Probably. Emotional control is part of the process she wants me to go through though. And I have to say, I feel pretty good and calm most of the time now.

  3. Thumper quotes someone suggesting that the worst feelings as denial continues and frustration builds are self induced. Your ability to remain serine and relaxed is the key. Those who focus on what she is doing to you have set in motion a ticking bomb. Maybe the Tao bit involves imagining the disappointment when you next climax that you could not have gone a bit further and endured a while longer. Carrying the wine is a useful analogy but as you help your lady out of her underwear can your mind force overcome your body forces. Even when locked my mind lost out. Without a key, I wish you luck and power to your mind. F.

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