We sort of missed an obvious opportunity to make New Year vows and resolutions about the shape of our D/s thing.
I guess it could have been an chance for the renewal of claims about my submissiveness and Michelle’s dominance, but in fact we were busy with festivities and housekeeping in preparation for the new year, and generally have been getting on pretty well, so it passed us by. Everything seems pretty normal. I am chaste. Every now and again things get kinda kinky in bed. She is generally in charge but does not enforce her will that often, and essentially we get on pretty normally, most of them time. No new resolutions or radical changes of plan were really on the cards.
Having said that, we have decided to do a few things differently this year, but these decisions were actually made in October and it just took us a while to get around to doing them.
The first of these is to keep track of what goes in in and out of the bedroom in a diary so that we can look back see when we have been having a sexy time, D/s or otherwise, and when we have been having a dry spell. We can also keep track of how we have been getting on, and why, so we can see patterns we might not be able to see in the heat of the moment.
So far all this has proved is that we do actually have sex quite a lot, which is what Michelle has always claimed to be the case. I suspect that this might be a phenomena that behaves differently when observed, but I’m not complaining.
The second thing is that we have a request list, which is where I write down or simply say a thing (and only one thing) that I have been fantasising about having happen. Michelle has said she will respond to this at her own pace, without feeling that I am bottom-topping her. And so far she has kept her word on that, albeit fairly slowly, and with one occasion where she forgot there was something on the list.
Anyway, the idea is that once I have made the request, I might mention it again after a month or so if noting has happened, but otherwise I’ll keep quiet.
So far, like I said, her response time is still kinda slow in my view, but the theory is that it is better than me asking for things all the time, or not asking at all, and getting tied up in knots about whether I should be allowed to ask and whether it’s true submission if I have my own agenda. There has also been some pretty kinko stuff that has happened that wasn’t my idea at all so I am left feeling as though I have some basic control in my relationship through this mechanism of the list, but not very much specific control day to day.
This seems like an okay balance so far although I am getting slightly impatient about something that has been on the list for about two months now. I’ll update this blog to let you know how this system actually works in the long run – I know some other couples use a similar thing but I’m not sure if it will work for us.
The third change is harder to put my finger on, and it has not something we have really agreed upon, but it seems like we have stopped talking about our relationship so much. The D/s thing is no longer something we talk about very often at all, in fact. And there has been a general upswing in feelings of love and tenderness between us over the last three or four months, and I think these things might be connected. I think that we were both ready for it to become something that is assumed, unstated, acted upon when Michelle feels like it but otherwise not discussed. Hopefully, this works out.
So, we have the dairy, and I have something on my request list which could come raining down on my at any time, as could anything else that Michelle decides to do. And we’ve sorta stopped talking about it. And the sex and companionship lately has been awesome.
Anyway, happy new year and I hope you enjoy the year we’re in now. Gad, it’s twelve days old and I’ve barely scratched myself.