Non-device chastity at the 19-day mark. This period has included her birthday which was a sex fest weekend.
Somewhat surprisingly, I am not feeling mega-horny. This is partly because Michelle is sick, but that only accounts for the last four days. Before that it has just been kinda normal, business as usual, chastity.
I have, on one occasion, asked Michelle if she was going to make me come that evening when we were having sex. Her response was simply that if I liked being denied for long periods, then that was what was going to happen so I’d better get used to it. Apart from that, we haven’t mentioned it much.
While she has been sick, I don’t think she has been particularly focused on anything sexual (which is not surprising). Before that, I think she has (mostly) been aware of my lack of orgasms. But because I haven’t been overtly horny around her, she hasn’t been making a big deal out of denying me.
Somehow, not coming for 3 weeks has become low key and normalised.
In terms of mood I am periodically a bit irritable, but I am also more sunny and positive than usual, so I suspect the hormone boost is amplifying some of my normal mood states, although not to extreme levels.
All this seems OK to me. If I am to make long-tem chastity a realistic part of my life, it can’t be on my mind all the time, and it can’t be a “special” thing all the time either. It’s a bit like dieting, maybe. If you spend the whole time thinking about food, the weight isn’t going to stay off. It only works if you change your basic relationship with food.
In this case, I don’t think our relationship can sustain an obsessive focus on my orgasm or lack thereof – it has to become something normalised. It will only work if I change my whole way of thinking about orgasms. They are something I don’t get to have much, and that’s just the deal. In the meantime, it’s my job to make use of the energy for other things.
This cold be heading down a kind of tantric path, maybe, although I have never previously had the focus or concentration for that to any serious degree. We will see what happens.