Bad Good Babysitter!


This is my new baby-sitter, Danni. She’s settling in for a night at my place. And I am going out.

The last baby sitter finished college and moved away. I advertised, and Danni turned up and I were in a hurry so I said yes.

Bad career move.

Not because, she’s a bad babysitter. Or late, or dishonest, or overpriced, or stealing from me, or anything of the sort.

But because, when I’m sitting at my BORING AS  HELL business dinners that go all evening, with the speeches that make me want to die…and supposed ‘group-think discussions where everyone just talks crap…

Danni is curled up on my couch, in front of my TV, and there is no doubt at all that she is having more fun than I am. How could she not be?

As the evening wears on my mind starts to wander. My son would be well and truly fast asleep by now, he is only five. Danni could be doing anything. Would she have a boy over? No, she didn’t seem the type. But she could quite easily be…


In the circumstances I think I can be forgiven for day-dreaming about this possibility for quite a while.  And, I did.

‘Mr Matthews?’


‘Mr Matthews. We were talking about the latest optimizations forecast. What are your thoughts?’

My thoughts are about my cute baby-sitter masturbating on my couch. I don’t give a crap about your optimizations forecast.

‘Oh, sorry. Um. I think it’s a great idea.’

Cue the part where everyone looks at me like I’m stupid. Turns out, the latest optimizations forecast is very bad.

What the hell is an optimizations forecast anyway. I really should have been paying attention.

See, like I said. Bad career move.

I get home at 11pm and she looks totally normal, relaxed, smiling. My son is fast asleep. Everything seems normal…


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