A Pain in the Back

It would seem that Chastity Bono has lower back pain, and also that the Chaste Tree Berry is good for lower back pain. In addition, many of the companies that sell chastity belts also sell back braces.

But apart from that, the internet cupboard is a bit bare when it comes to mentions of male chastity and back pain.

Sure, a lot of guys mention slight pain and discomfort in the lower back as a result of a swollen prostate, but blue balls are usually the main symptom here and the back pain is only considered a minor deal.

Thing is, I no longer get blue balls. In fact I no longer get insomnia either, that much. And the emotional weird-outs I described last year are fading away too. Basically, I  have no health or mental dramas with being chaste, most of the time. But the back pain – around the region of my coccyx and my SIJ – comes after a period of about two or three days and hangs around like…well, like a pain in the back, really.

An orgasm seems to soothe it so maybe it is muscle cramping around my prostate. Alternately, when I am denied I spend too long on the internet, and the pain is postural. Either way, it is damn annoying.

(Note – this was written after a period in which I have been allowed to orgasm. Michelle has just put me back into chastity again so we will see how things develop  with the insomnia and other issues. But already, I’m feeling that nagging twinge when I sit down at my desk. It’s a drag.)

😦

O-PRIC Inuagural AGM: The Pitfalls of Asking About Chastity and Prostate Health on the Internet

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The inaugural (and like, first ever) AGM of the ORGANIZATION FOR PROSTATE RISKS IN CHASTITY was held recently, round at my house. Being the only member present, I skipped the tedious formalities and moved straight on to the biscuits and the business at hand: the keystone subject of prostate cancer as a possible risk of my particular lifestyle. What do we know? How do we know it?

This is going to be the subject of numerous O-PRIC posts, but I’ll start by listing some resources on message-boards and the like. I have chosen these to throw some light on one important thing: this is a very loaded subject and there are few neutral and impartial sources around. Therefore, asking people on the internet is a pretty dubious strategy, and one I have decided not to pursue. I’ll explain why.

Firstly, people tend to ask about chastity either because they want it to be safe, or because they want to discredit femdom practices by suggesting that it is not safe.

Secondly, people’s answers are equally motivated by their position towards this lifestyle.

Thirdly, the medical community is behaving in the opposite fashion. Doctors often don’t have enough hard evidence to say for sure if it is or isn’t harmful, and I suspect many would fall back on the Hippocratic principle of “doing no harm”, which might mean erring on the side of caution as they don’t know one way or the other.

The upshot: a lot of people with firm agendas are getting answered by a lot of other people with no hard evidence, while Doctors do the best they can to give clear answers without saying anything that is wrong, or giving the green light to something they don’t know for sure is OK.

I haven’t done a whole stack of research here, just enough to suggest this. Here’s some examples:

Elise Sutton: Play Safe: Questions about FemDom and Health Issues

Our dear friend Elise Sutton is answering a question from a male  – who wants to discredit the practice of chastity – and who claims to have read articles suggesting the following:

  • a man that had 100 orgasms per year is 36% less likely to die of a heart attack or stroke than a man who did not.
  • an average man at age 50 should have 2.5 orgasms per week to maintain a healthy prostate.

I’m not a big fan of Sutton, but her response here was kinda reasonable: “can I read those articles, please? ” For the record, I’d like to read them, too.

Sutton goes on to make some claims based mostly on personal opinion, saying that the major cause of heart attack and stroke is actually stress and that subspace is as good as stress reliever as orgasms. On the subject of cancer she is more specific. She claims to have spoken to several Doctors who claim that there is no hard medical evidence linking prostate health to the frequency of male orgasms. In fact, one Doctor told her of a study that stated that men who did not masturbate and had limited orgasms were healthier and more productive than men who did.

Hmmm. Well, I’d like to see those sources, too.

Questions on chastity from Lubyanka to Dr Goldtstein on AllExperts…

Irish Domme Lady Lubyanka, who enjoys locking up her husband’s cock etc, and is concerned for his long-term health, asks a retired urologist a range of well-informed questions, namely:

  • What are the effects on a healthy prostate if it is not evacuated regularly (aside from related issues of prostatic congestion)?
  • Are any of those effects permanent?
  • Are congestion and related issues the only reasons why regularly evacuating the prostate is beneficial to male reproductive health?

Dr Goldstein is a bit cagey. He talks at length about exactly what congestive prostatitis (CP) is, and how to cure it, but on the subject of long-term damage, he simply says that “congestive or other types of prostatitis are generally not permanent and can be treated easily.” There is no mention of cancer as a side-effect of prostatic congestion, and the whole issue of cancer as a result of inactivity / atrophy is not addressed, let alone PSA buildup.

Info on Lubyanka’s own site

Lubyanka also asked quite a few other Doctors the same questions and scouted around for supporting documents. The results of her research are laid out plainly:

Most health professionals seem to agree that that evacuating the prostate at least once every three weeks is beneficial for maintaining prostate health and function. Most of them also seem to agree that gentle (not vigorous!) prostate massage can be beneficial, but only in the absence of some prostatic disorders (such as acute prostatitis, or prostate cancer).

But no-one ever seems to say why

‘Bill’ asks Dr Goldstein the same questions

‘Bill’, apparently a member of Lady Julia’s Male Chastity Group, asks Dr Goldstein the same sort of questions and gets the same sort of answers from the resident urologist. Dr Goldstein simply won’t go near the question about cancer and sticks to what he knows, which is explaining the physiology, and says that “from a strictly medical standpoint, it is healthy to periodically empty the prostate gland.” Again it is not really clear why this must be done.

Is is simply to avoid CP, or to avoid cancer caused by long-term CP, or cancer caused by atrophy, or by PSA buildup??

Those four different things never really get teased out. We just get told it’s probably a good idea to empty it once in a while. I suspect this is a counsel of responsible caution rather than hard knowledge.

Message Board Responses

There’s other examples around on message-boards. I’ve lately read a guy asking on a forum about this subject, who got the reply that long-term chastity  is very bad for you, which cited “Doctors’ horror stories” but didn’t actually link anything up, and also cited the dark and moralized issue of  Church celibacy into the bargain. Emotive arguing, not scientific stuff.

I’ve also read other stuff – and I’m not going to link it up, it’s too gross – where a guy advocated chastity on a pretty vanilla board, only to be assured that he would surely die of prostate cancer, with no evidence cited whatsoever.  This was accompanied by derision at his choice of lifestyle. It was almost as though people saw the potential risk of cancer as a punishment for his “perversity”.

My point here was not to argue one way or the other about the safety of chastity. I’m just arguing that message-boards and other amateur forums are probably not the best places to ask for information on this topic; its too emotive an issue to get a reasonable response, and anecdotal evidence on this topic is unreliable. Stuff written by people who advocate  femdom as a lifestyle is probably even less reliable, especially if they have a business interest in chaste men.

And if you seek proper medical advice online, as Lubyanka did, it would appear that many Doctors have  little direct evidence to go on and give an estimate of health risks based on the assumption that continual prostatic congestion probably isn’t too good for you. Therefore, Lubyanka’s “Most health professionals seem to agree…” is the best possible outcome of this process.

To find out more, I’m going to need to look at research reports.  And not what people who have read those reports say they say.  What they actually say. I’m going to have to read them. Sigh.

Right now, I’m not really looking forward to reading some technical guff written by geeks at Charles Hopkins, but Michelle is ramping up the chastity, so I’ve told myself I’m going to read all that stuff by the end of the year.

If I can find out, I want to know.

Schedules are for wimps (and me, unfortunately)

Michelle and I have been experimenting with chastity (mine, never hers) on and off for the last few years and after rigorous testing we have recently decided it is definitely The Way To Go.® This blog is really the story of our relationship after that decision was made.

Previously, a two- or three-week stint of chastity would be followed by a month or two of regular sex for both of us before I started to be chaste again, usually of my own accord. But now that Michelle has decided to take the full control I have been offering her, the situation has changed; I get a single orgasm followed immediately by a return to chastity. The issue arises: how often is that going to happen?

The problem with schedules for me is that they run the risk of increasing my focus on orgasm rather than diminishing it. I am not really into femdom arrangements where the guy is ‘allowed’ to come once every week or two, dependent on his good behavior. That seems based on the view that men are naturally incapable of controlling themselves and that their sex drive must be used against them in order to extort decent behaviour. This may work for some couples but neither Michelle or I want it. We want a situation in which my own self-control is seen as manly and erotic by her, and can be used to satisfy her when ever she desires in a variety of ways.

Another factor is that I get needy and a bit neurotic when I know that sex and orgasm is coming; not so much as I used to when I was younger, but it’s still there. I end up wanting to control the sex and the circumstances around it, but at the same time I want it to seem spontaneous. I do not really enjoy it if there is too much time to anticipate.

You can see why it is better that I have no control at all over when it happens. Basically the best situation is when I have no idea I am going to come until I find I am in bed with Michelle and she is making me groan like a dying gladiator. The next day the metaphorical blindfold goes back on and I am free from my stupid nagging thoughts about what the next sex-act will be like, and when it might be.

And until recently I had assumed that Michelle would probably want me to come like this about once every two weeks or so, maybe once a month, largely for her own gratification in seeing me squirt, so the whole issue of scheduling wouldn’t arise.

But it is lately becoming apparent to me that Michelle would be quite happy with much longer periods of chastity; and therefore, so would I. Neither of us really want to have sex on a schedule. It’s not very erotic.

The possibility of long-term denial is delightfully erotic, on the other hand, but it does raise the spectre of prostate and testicular problems down the line. I am planning a larger post on the potential links between male chastity and prostate health at some point; all I can say now is that there is genuine concern that never or rarely ejaculating might be a cancer risk. As we don’t know for sure, we need to be on the safe side, which basically means ejaculating to clear the plumbing about once every week or so, either with milking or ejaculating.

There’s also the problem that I indicated in my last post. After about three weeks in chastity I’m so intensely into her that she never gets moment’s peace and I can’t calm down. So maybe it’s best if we never get to that stage, and I come once every two weeks or so.

Either way, we’re back to schedules again, and I know roughly when it’s coming. Rats.

In the scheme of things these are obviously Nice Problems To Have®, but I wouldn’t mind sorting this out sooner or later. Hopefully we can figure out a way of making a schedule seemed unplanned and spontaneous. And also, that I can stop being such a dick-brain and just not think about it so much. The more we do this, the more relaxed I get about the whole issue, so I think things will be OK if we keep going this way.

But I’ll admit I’m also fantasizing about that great imagined day when the Organization for Prostate Risks Involved in Chastity (O-PRIC) publish a report on the subject, which provides incontrovertible proof that not only does chastity not harm the prostate, but it is actually good for the prostate and for all other areas of wellbeing, like stress levels, stroke rates and heart disease!

I imagine Michelle, upon hearing the news, turning to me with a sweet, girlish expression on her face and saying:

‘Sweetie, you might as well forget about coming for a long, long time.’

A Good Night for the Team

Michelle has been driving me demented all day, wearing a sports t-shirt with no bra. She is going on to her period and her breasts are swelling. I adore her.

We had sex this evening and she came, then fucked me with her fingers for a bit, which was wonderful but not enough to cool the ache in my belly. Then she left me and I really felt it was time to try to give my prostate some relief. Well, I succeeded.

This is only the second time I’ve ever done this successfully. Both times involved using a large vibrating butt plug. I need to masturbate quite hard, concentrating on holding and squeezing the base of my cock rather than lubing the top, and work my way through about four or five ‘edges’. When I am right on the edge I squeeze my PC muscles down really hard on the end of the butt plug which is buzzing up against my prostate. Eventually, after the fourth or fifth time, fluid comes out when I stop contracting – quite a lot, actually. It feels pretty good, not as strong as a regular orgasm but way better in the build-up, like my whole torso is tingling with pleasure.

If I do it a few times, a slightly more cloudy fluid comes out and my erection dies away. I wonder if this was a partial or retarded orgasm. My stomach no longer hurts and the glow inside has gone for the time being but I do not feel as though I have come. I’m still wide awake and I feel pretty good, happy, positive. I also feel like I could get another erection very easily.

Now I’m sure I can do it, I think I’ll do it once every week or two. Michelle was happy for me and let me smell her armpits for a minute before telling me to buzz off.

She’s such a delight.