Apparently, there’s no longer any such thing as a guy who is attracted to chubby, or natural-looking women. ‘Chubby chasers’ are a myth. And so is anyone who doesn’t mind a bit of hair down there, I’m guessing.
The truth is, anyone who sleeps with such a woman is actually just a low-status guy, who can’t get with properly attractive women, so we pretend that we like another type of woman instead.
Obviously, this revelation means that everyone is attracted to the same type of woman and her physical appearance is the most important thing. Being attracted to someone on an interpersonal level is a total waste of time; it doesn’t matter if your potential mate make you laugh, or make you feel safe, or excited, or challenged. Or if they are some total idiot who bores your cock off. It’s all about their waist measurement.
Also, physical chemistry does not exist – and the buzz you feel when you get close to a partner who would make healthy children with you, that’s all a load of scientific mumbo-jumbo, too. It’s all about dress size. If you say otherwise you are lying.
If this is confusing for you, the easiest way to remember it is this: it’s not about whether you are actually enjoying your time in the company of the woman of your choice. Her looks and waist size are a symbol of your status as a man. After all, this is mostly about impressing other guys, right? The two of you can be having an absolutely horrible time together, and that’s fine, just so long as she is skinny.
The demise of the chubby chaser is bad news for nearly everyone. For skinny women, it’s bad news because it means all of a sudden a lot more really boring men will be chasing after them. For chubby women, it means they have to admit that no one was ever really into them, and all their many boyfriends past and present were lying. For ‘high status’ guys – and those who treat dating like a video game – it’s bad news because it means there will be more competition for the ‘actual’ sexy women they used to have all to themselves, supposedly. I feel for them, I really do.
But for low status guys, like me, it’s actually OK. Me and my cock are both pretty good at pretending we like all sorts of different types of women, and while some of whom look like bikini models, most of them do not. And I don’t have to worry about all the skinny but boring women either, because I never have to talk to them.
So a moment’s silence, please, for the death of the mythical chubby chaser. From now on, I will only pretend to find plus size women attractive.
A while back, we were having sex, that is to say, Dick was working hard for the Bush Administration, when predictably enough, there was a leak.
This happens from time to time, when I have been denied for a few weeks. I can still have coital sex, sometimes quite vigorously. I don’t get hair trigger all the time, just sometimes – at any moment Michelle can twist a certain way or make a certain noise and my orgasm can rear up on me with no warning, as it did on this occasion. I withdrew but there was still a considerable leak. It was a ruined orgasm, or as Michelle likes to call them, a “porgasm”.
She was fine with this as she knew it was not deliberate. I went on to give her a large orgasm and she was satisfied, but then, something came over me. Often when I have a ruined orgasm my body will absolutely crave a proper one, and I decided to have one. Some reptilian hind brain asserted itself and I mounted her and started shagging away like mad with the clear intent to come inside her.
She pushed me away when she saw what I was doing and again, another large squirt came out on the sheets, once again with no accompanying orgasmic sensation for me.
She was, and still is, furious.
She has decided to assert herself by denying me sex and helping herself out by masturbating. (She has punished me like this previously so it is not a big surprise). I do not know how long this is going to go on for. It has been a week so far, so that’s not very long in the scheme of things, but she has let me know that it was totally uncool and not part of the deal at all, so it could be a while before she gets me back in.
In typical “sneaky sub” fashion I feel a thrill of delight at the punishment and it is good to know that my chastity is so firmly enforced these days. But more than that, I also feel kinda lame, because it was a lame act, and showed a total lack of self control. And, she had said she was going to give me an orgasm soon anyway so I guess I totally blew that.
On the plus side, the thought of her masturbating is a major turn on. She doesn’t really do it much any more because every time she feels like coming, she thinks of me. So the thought of her lying there gently and dreamily pleasuring herself is kind of innocent and lovely, and I am glad it had an opportunity to happen. I am going to write more about that in another post.
Just in case this all sounds like a complaint, I restate: things are awesome. I am more and more finding that it is not so much sex I need as sexiness. And that, too, might have to be the subject of another post.
Update: sex ban continues and my darling wife continues to gloat at me about what a lovely time she is having masturbating. I am getting maybe 4 hours sleep a night and am ragingly horny all the time.
Auré (Pernice), the Sicilian artist I reviewed last year, sent me an e-mail a while back pointing out a few things.
It’s just Auré, not Aurelio.
There’s more. Turns out Auré is the founder of the Aurè Italian FemDom Political Movement and he has a dream: Being, in the near future, the Italian Prime Minister.
I can’t read Italian but from the looks of the banner ads, I’m guessing the message is fairly simple: let’s just let large Sicilian women with beautiful breasts run everything. Oh yeah, and Abolire le Tasse means Abolish Taxes….
I’m not normally one for matriarchy fantasies but seriously, bring it. I’m quite certain that either of this lady’s breasts would do a better job of running Italy than either of the last two actual presidents.
Oh, and he also has a lifestyle blog called http://aureart.blogspot.com/, and a Deviant art and a Myspace and whole lot more.
So let’s all get behind Auré’s push to become president of Italy and bring about a boob-led economic recovery.
Facesitting: is it actually comfortable for the woman? Let’s ask three of Aengus’ cartoon facesitters.
“What? Of course it’s uncomfortable for me as well. I’m only doing it because you asked me to. And in return I get you to give me head properly. Five minutes for you. An hour for me. Now stop complaining.”
“Yes, I suppose it is moderately comfortable. It’s kinda warm and your nose is pushing in to my bottom which is sweet. But it would be better if you would stop moving. Or talking. Just make a low continuous humming noise. There. that’s fine.”
“Well, it’s not entirely comfortable but it’s the best thing on offer. The shower stools I saw were far too low, and our piano stool is wooden. And, by the way, you don’t have to lick. I really do just want you to sit on.”