Nearly Three Weeks

Non-device chastity at the 19-day mark. This period has included her birthday which was a sex fest weekend.

Somewhat surprisingly, I am not feeling mega-horny. This is partly because Michelle is sick, but that only accounts for the last four days. Before that it has just been kinda normal, business as usual, chastity.

I have, on one occasion, asked Michelle if she was going to make me come that evening when we were having sex. Her response was simply that if I liked being denied for long periods, then that was what was going to happen so I’d better get used to it. Apart from that, we haven’t mentioned it much.

While she has been sick, I don’t think she has been particularly focused on anything sexual (which is not surprising). Before that, I think she has (mostly) been aware of my lack of orgasms. But because I haven’t been overtly horny around her, she hasn’t been making a big deal out of denying me.

Somehow, not coming for 3 weeks has become low key and normalised.

In terms of mood I am periodically a bit irritable, but I am also more sunny and positive than usual, so I suspect the hormone boost is amplifying some of my normal mood states, although not to extreme levels.

All this seems OK to me. If I am to make long-tem chastity a realistic part of my life, it can’t be on my mind all the time, and it can’t be a “special” thing all the time either. It’s a bit like dieting, maybe. If you spend the whole time thinking about food, the weight isn’t going to stay off. It only works if you change your basic relationship with food.

In this case, I don’t think our relationship can sustain an obsessive focus on my orgasm or lack thereof – it has to become something normalised. It will only work if I change my whole way of thinking about orgasms. They are something I don’t get to have much, and that’s just the deal. In the meantime, it’s my job to make use of the energy for other things.

This cold be heading down a kind of tantric path, maybe, although I have never previously had the focus or concentration for that to any serious degree. We will see what happens.

Steve the Human Lawn Sprinkler

So much for my plan to get to 30 days.

Michelle and I were in bed last night and at first she said she just wanted kissing and then a good fucking. But after fooling around for a while, with her getting very bitey and a bit aggressive, she said: “Actually, it’s time for you to come.”

“Oh, OK”. My voice must have carried a strange mixture of disappointment and relief. “Why?”

“Because I want you to. How’s that for an answer?”

“I’d guess it’s the only one I am going to get,” I said.

“You got it,” she said. Then she made me come, slowly, with her hands. She has gotten mind-bindingly good at this over this years. She starts out quite firm but ends up barely touching me, and I come almost from the look on her face, the smell of her armpits, and the faintest touch of her lubricated fingers on my cock.

She says she likes it when I come like a lawn sprinkler and I am happy to say I obliged her last night. There was no question about who was going to sleep in the wet patch. We both did.

“Thanks,” she said. “I really enjoyed doing that. Now pass me that vibrator.”

It did not take her long to come. Afterwards I said, feeling a bit needy: “will you tell me when it’s time for me to come again?”

“Sure,” she said.

“Cool. You know I was going for thirty days this time, right?” (We had only got to eleven).

“Well, I wouldn’t be too hard on yourself about it,” she said with a grin.

Later she told me not to worry about feeling a bit drained for a day or so – there’s going to plenty of time for me to get my mojo back, apparently.

So, I seem to be back in a honour-system chastity regime. It’s pretty low key but it’s nice. And it’s evolved much faster than our previous agreements, and with much less talking.

Man, that orgasm felt good, though. Still thinking about it today…

Note: abs in picture may not resemble actual abs.

Note: abs in picture may not resemble actual abs.

Schedules are for wimps (and me, unfortunately)

Michelle and I have been experimenting with chastity (mine, never hers) on and off for the last few years and after rigorous testing we have recently decided it is definitely The Way To Go.® This blog is really the story of our relationship after that decision was made.

Previously, a two- or three-week stint of chastity would be followed by a month or two of regular sex for both of us before I started to be chaste again, usually of my own accord. But now that Michelle has decided to take the full control I have been offering her, the situation has changed; I get a single orgasm followed immediately by a return to chastity. The issue arises: how often is that going to happen?

The problem with schedules for me is that they run the risk of increasing my focus on orgasm rather than diminishing it. I am not really into femdom arrangements where the guy is ‘allowed’ to come once every week or two, dependent on his good behavior. That seems based on the view that men are naturally incapable of controlling themselves and that their sex drive must be used against them in order to extort decent behaviour. This may work for some couples but neither Michelle or I want it. We want a situation in which my own self-control is seen as manly and erotic by her, and can be used to satisfy her when ever she desires in a variety of ways.

Another factor is that I get needy and a bit neurotic when I know that sex and orgasm is coming; not so much as I used to when I was younger, but it’s still there. I end up wanting to control the sex and the circumstances around it, but at the same time I want it to seem spontaneous. I do not really enjoy it if there is too much time to anticipate.

You can see why it is better that I have no control at all over when it happens. Basically the best situation is when I have no idea I am going to come until I find I am in bed with Michelle and she is making me groan like a dying gladiator. The next day the metaphorical blindfold goes back on and I am free from my stupid nagging thoughts about what the next sex-act will be like, and when it might be.

And until recently I had assumed that Michelle would probably want me to come like this about once every two weeks or so, maybe once a month, largely for her own gratification in seeing me squirt, so the whole issue of scheduling wouldn’t arise.

But it is lately becoming apparent to me that Michelle would be quite happy with much longer periods of chastity; and therefore, so would I. Neither of us really want to have sex on a schedule. It’s not very erotic.

The possibility of long-term denial is delightfully erotic, on the other hand, but it does raise the spectre of prostate and testicular problems down the line. I am planning a larger post on the potential links between male chastity and prostate health at some point; all I can say now is that there is genuine concern that never or rarely ejaculating might be a cancer risk. As we don’t know for sure, we need to be on the safe side, which basically means ejaculating to clear the plumbing about once every week or so, either with milking or ejaculating.

There’s also the problem that I indicated in my last post. After about three weeks in chastity I’m so intensely into her that she never gets moment’s peace and I can’t calm down. So maybe it’s best if we never get to that stage, and I come once every two weeks or so.

Either way, we’re back to schedules again, and I know roughly when it’s coming. Rats.

In the scheme of things these are obviously Nice Problems To Have®, but I wouldn’t mind sorting this out sooner or later. Hopefully we can figure out a way of making a schedule seemed unplanned and spontaneous. And also, that I can stop being such a dick-brain and just not think about it so much. The more we do this, the more relaxed I get about the whole issue, so I think things will be OK if we keep going this way.

But I’ll admit I’m also fantasizing about that great imagined day when the Organization for Prostate Risks Involved in Chastity (O-PRIC) publish a report on the subject, which provides incontrovertible proof that not only does chastity not harm the prostate, but it is actually good for the prostate and for all other areas of wellbeing, like stress levels, stroke rates and heart disease!

I imagine Michelle, upon hearing the news, turning to me with a sweet, girlish expression on her face and saying:

‘Sweetie, you might as well forget about coming for a long, long time.’

A Good Night for the Team

Michelle has been driving me demented all day, wearing a sports t-shirt with no bra. She is going on to her period and her breasts are swelling. I adore her.

We had sex this evening and she came, then fucked me with her fingers for a bit, which was wonderful but not enough to cool the ache in my belly. Then she left me and I really felt it was time to try to give my prostate some relief. Well, I succeeded.

This is only the second time I’ve ever done this successfully. Both times involved using a large vibrating butt plug. I need to masturbate quite hard, concentrating on holding and squeezing the base of my cock rather than lubing the top, and work my way through about four or five ‘edges’. When I am right on the edge I squeeze my PC muscles down really hard on the end of the butt plug which is buzzing up against my prostate. Eventually, after the fourth or fifth time, fluid comes out when I stop contracting – quite a lot, actually. It feels pretty good, not as strong as a regular orgasm but way better in the build-up, like my whole torso is tingling with pleasure.

If I do it a few times, a slightly more cloudy fluid comes out and my erection dies away. I wonder if this was a partial or retarded orgasm. My stomach no longer hurts and the glow inside has gone for the time being but I do not feel as though I have come. I’m still wide awake and I feel pretty good, happy, positive. I also feel like I could get another erection very easily.

Now I’m sure I can do it, I think I’ll do it once every week or two. Michelle was happy for me and let me smell her armpits for a minute before telling me to buzz off.

She’s such a delight.