So, it turns out I’m a big fan of longer-term chastity; by which at this point I mean anything over three weeks, which was my previous record. If chastity were a commercial product I’d be one of those people on TV advertisements giving gushing unsolicited endorsements, where you can’t quite believe they didn’t get paid to say it.
New feelings are emerging all the time – and at my age, that is kind of awesome. In addition to the feeling that I am carrying around something precious, I also have the more general feeling of being carried along myself. I feel that by controlling my sexual desires, Michelle is carrying me, taking me for a slow, lazy ride, and I have no control over where I am going or how long it will last. I don’t really know how to describe that any better way.
I guess this is almost the opposite of the typical femdom image of the girl riding the guy. In the image above, I now see female power, and the guy is there because she wants him to be, not because he is too weak to carry himself.
The libido lull I spoke about a few posts ago is still in effect. I still get very horny but I really do not crave orgasm at all. In fact having an orgasm does not seem particularly appealing at this point, although if Michelle wanted me to have one I’d go along with it.
For the first time, it genuinely seems as though I have no control over this, and the only way I could get an orgasm is by sneaking one. In previous bouts, there was always the surreptitious feeling that if I really wanted to come, I could get Michelle to let me. In this latest bout, it seems different. It seems now that Michelle is demanding long-term chastity and won’t budge.
I’m not sure how I know this, because I haven’t even asked her if I can come, but maybe I can just see it in her face. She may have some release date set in her mind or she might not, but either way, I have no idea, and I don’t really care at this point.
We haven’t even really talked about it very much, this time round. She periodically reminds me that my chastity is demanded and that it pleases her, but apart from that it is just understood that I am not to come, and that’s really all that needs to be said.
This is very relaxing for me. All the nagging worries and control issues about when, and where, and how, and how many, are all gone. All I have to do is nothing. I just get carried along, feeling very much in love, and everything is fine.
Steve.
(PS: Of course, everything isn’t entirely fine. We both still have unmet emotional needs and we still mis-communicate about them. It happened last night, in fact. But, it used to happen worse before I was chaste, and also, remeber that this is a gushing product endorrsement for chastity so I am saving the emotional awkwardness for another post.)
The Glow Inside 
Hi Steve
It must be an age thing, although I am slightly older than you, I to have almost lost the desire to orgasm, preferring much more to be teased, aroused but denied by Jane. The problem that I face is trying to explain my feelings to Jane, or trying to persuade her that it is something that she could also enjoy or benefit from. You are very lucky in that Michelle is actually encouring your chastity.
Lovely, wonderful post. I agree 100% and couldn’t have said it all better myself.
@Thumper – Thanks. You are up to something like 60 days now, no?
@AAT – I can’t remember off-hand if your wife knows that you blog. I am aware that you have had difficulties in communicating with her, though, and it has seemed to me in the past that she might be reacting against being led by you, and that the whole thing has gotten a bit knotty and paradoxical for the two of you. I’m not sure if this is still true.
Have you thought of inviting her to read other blogs? I don’t just mean mine. Pick a reasonably sane and grounded blog about a situation where the whole thing is working OK, and suggest she have a look, so she can know what you have been reading. That way, she might feel like a relaxed third-party observer, and be able to think about things in a less pressured way, rather than being confronted with your ideas in a more immediate, personal way.
She might also feel like she is more “on the same page” as you are, and that you are not racing ahead with wild ideas that are leaving her behind.
I know that Michelle has felt in the past that she liked the idea of dominating me but she just wanted me to slow down and let it develop more naturally, at her pace. She reads my blog and has looked briefly at a few others, and I describe the sorts of things that are said on other blogs as well. I think this has helped her to feel as though she has roughly the same sort of understanding of D/s as I do, that it is something that normal married couples can do, and that I am not in a totally different world to her.
Obviously, my advice at the moment should be taken with a punch of salt. I am zoned out on hormones and buzzing on recent events, and I feel like some sort of god made manifest on earth. But I will say that having a wife who demands chastity is totally awesome and I wish you the best in that regard.
Steve.
I went from 8/25 to 10/15. Fifty-something. I used to know *exactly* how many days it was, but I got a little fuzzy there at the end. Now the stone’s rolled all the way back down and I’m starting the long push upward again.
Oh right. I just read up on Mexico and understand.
I have this little ticker factory thing that keeps track for me now.
I suspect this probably accounts for that website’s third biggest usage, behind weight loss and giving up smoking.