Holes in the Internet

OK I admit it; and it must have been obvious, too. I have spent a fair amount of time searching the internet. And I haven’t just been looking for new femdom art, but also for  ‘good quality’ femdom porn images (sic). I’m only really talking about free stuff, although if I find god pay sites, I usually give the tour a look over.

I have partly done this because I’m perverted and because I like looking at new things, but a major reason I’ve look for good femdom porn is because I almost cannot believe that there are so many niches around that are not properly catered for. The internet is totally vast, but it’s imbalanced. It’s like there are these great big holes, places where everyone thinks that no-one else wants to look there.

I mentioned one of these a while back: a Google image search for “facesitting” (quotes included) yields about 295,000 hits! A search for “queening chair” yields only 290, and most of these are not actually of a queening chair. Basically, it’s very easy to find images of face-sitting (in which the woman often looks very uncomfortable), and almost impossible to find galleries of queening chairs actually being used.

Over the past year I have identified several more of these holes. Here goes:

Femdom Bukakke

I didn’t even bother Googling either ‘bukkake’ or ‘cumshot’ because I already know the hits would number in the zillions. It is almost as though Western men fear that their universe will cease to exist unless many of them spend time each day viewing images of women with fresh semen on their faces. It is like some new cultural imperative.

But try finding shots of a group of women ejaculating on a man. Try it. An image search on “femdom bukkake” (with quotes) yields 299 hits, and none of these are what it actually describes. Related searches are no help. There are quite a few images of individual woman squirting on guys but more often than not, it is urine.

I recall once seeing an outdoor shoot of a group of pretty dommes lining up to masturbate, squirt and pee over a happy sub guy who had been tied down in the middle of a road, while a crowd looked on. I can no longer find this. Other than that, I got zero.

Femdom Fucking

Images of coital sex where the woman appears to be obviously and aggressively in control are few and far between, compared to shots of male dominated sex, or femdom pegging. Maymay put me onto this picture, which has a good back-story, and there’s this wonderful offering from Vanja which makes me smile every time I look at it.

But apart from that it is slim pickings, and if anyone knows a good place to get hold of pictures where the woman is clearly controlling the man through the act of fucking so she can get the most out of it, hook me up, because I’m sick of looking at bad TGP pages that are always of the wrong thing.

A subset of this is pictures of women pulling hair or whipping a guy while they get oral sex. There are a few, but not nearly as many as you’d think, if things were in balance.

Masturbation Tease

This is a tough one because it is a hard to think up search terms for it (woman masturbates while man looks on?), but I don’t recall having seen too many images of women masturbating while a tied up man watches, unable to do anything. In fact I can only think of this one which is not very sexy. That seems a shame. I guess I will have to think back to my mind’s eye image of the time Michelle restrained me and then used a large vegetable on herself while she made me kiss her feet.

Leaking Shots

Michelle doesn’t mind the odd peek at Kami Tora, and quite enjoys his come-shots, but her favourite thing of all seems to be when pre-come leaks out my cock while she is teasing me. She’ll eat it, if it’s going. I’ve tried to find shots of guys leaking out in frustration while their girlfriends watch on laughing (Michelle usually laughs when I do this), but once again, there isn’t much there. Rob and Jill is not bad, I guess, but Rob always reminds me of Lurch from the Addams family.

Anyway, you get the idea. The disclaimer here is the same as it was for my first queening chair post;  there may be stuff out there that I haven’t found, but I’ve given it a good solid year and if it is there, it sure isn’t leaping out at me.

The problem with all this is the time I spend searching for the good stuff leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth because of the crap I have to sift through.

I have talked this over with Michelle and we are both of the view, fuck it. No more searching. I would have found what  I was looking for by now. Anything that comes my way from hereon in, it will be because I stumble across it.

Namio, but with a lighter touch

‘Remember when we were younger?’ says Diana. ‘I wanted to learn to play the guitar. Do you remember me playing?’

‘Yes, I remember,’ says Jaime. ‘You wore your hair short like a British girl from the sixties.’

‘Oh, I had forgotten that!’ says Diana. ‘You never mentioned that you liked it!’

‘You told me to be quiet while you were playing,’ said Jaime.

‘And what about that summer we went to Tarragona and you said that other girl resembled me?’ says Diana.

‘You were so unfair’ says Jaime. ‘I said that you were beautiful!’

‘So, are you saying she was as beautiful as me?’ says Diana.

‘No,’ says Jaime, recalling the blisters.

‘And what about that winter when you said I had put on weight,’ said Diana.

‘Once again, you were so unfair’ said Jaime. ‘I said that I liked it that you had put on weight!’

‘So, you are saying I had put on weight?’ said Diana.

‘No,’ says Jaime, recalling the aches in his arms.

Then Diana finishes with a moan, and releases Jaime from beneath her feet just enough so that he may clean up after her. The room now smells of woman, salt, and nectar.

‘All in all, Jaime, it does not seem that you know how to pay me a compliment,’ she said when she had drawn breath.

‘I will compliment you now,’ says Jaime. ‘You taste like the wine.’

‘Are you saying I am ageing well?’ says Diana.

Jaime could see no way to answer this without danger, and so remained silent while he finished the meal.

Later, he was sat upon, while she explained to him patiently the finer points of flattering a woman.

(This domestic fantasy inspired by a series of pictures by Namio Haruwaka that are slightly different from his normal style.)

Just Relax and Let the Feelings Come

Michelle took me to bed last night and started to give me a pretty thorough hand-job; not to orgasm, but just to get me nice and hard.

After a few moments, I started to tense up my legs and abdomen – I guess lots of guys do this, as a way or “rushing” or focusing the sensation of orgasm. I wasn’t even really aware I was doing it until she pointed it out.

“You are tensing up too much. Lie still,” commands she, sounding a little bit like a yoga teacher.  “Just relax. Let your back get heavy. Drop your bottom into the pillow. Let your head get heavy.  Just relax.”

She keeps up the hand job, telling me sexy things about her own body, and smiling down at me. I could smell her. She smelled warm and relaxed. It was all really good, but every time I start to get excited, I tensed up the muscles in my legs again. “Relax,” she said each time. “Imagine your dick is floating out on its own. Everything else is heavy.” And she pushed me gently into the mattress, keeping up the speed with her other hand.

After a while it really did feel like that, like my cock was somehow unconnected to my body. It was responding only to her touch, and had nothing to do with my desire to push towards orgasm.

“That’s it,” she said. “Good relaxing. That’s a skill that every man should have.”

She’s a smart lady. I don’t want to press the analogy to hard, but “just relax and let the feelings come” is pretty good advice for a submissive man in chastity.

Anyway it all went on for quite a while longer and it all left me feeling spaced out and dopey, and like my erection no longer belonged to me, but was some part of my body I was keeping for her.

I begged to give her an orgasm, but she just asked me to hold her, so I did, and touched her warm soft skin as lovingly as I could.

🙂

Lena: What Friends are For

Lately, Lena has been blindfolding you when you have sex. Or rather, she’s been blindfolding you when you give her head. That’s been your staple diet for a couple of months now, and accounts for about 80% of the sex you have. She likes it every day.

“It’s better when you can’t see me,’ she says. “When you can see me, you get all impatient and think you get to fuck me. But this isn’t about that. So put it on now and take your time.”

So, once again, the last thing you see is her smiling, expectant face before you slip the blindfold over your eyes and then find your way down to the small patch of scented hair that remains between her legs, and then a little way below that, the wetness begins.

She’s lying diagonally across the bed, and you are kneeling at the side of it. It’s dark, warm and comfortable, and pretty soon the world around you fades away and you start zoning in on that wet lick of skin leading up to her clitoris. It becomes your world. The only sounds are her moans. Then after about ten minutes she wraps her legs around you, has a quiet, squirming orgasm, and then makes to get up.

Normally she’d have three, but today she says, “I have to get up for a moment and go check something. Stay where you are. Don’t take the blindfold off.”

Obedience to that sort of instruction has become second nature by now, seeing as the results are always so sexy; so you don’t think to question what might be going on, and just wait there for a few moments until she re-enters the room and lies down again. “Begin”, she says, in a husky voice, and you get started.

Well, she must have done something out there, because she’s not nearly so wet as she was a moment ago, and you think maybe she dried herself off with a towel, but you can’t imagine why. But after a few moments she juices up like before, but the smell is different, sweeter and lighter than her normal salty wetness. Has she put some sort of new perfume down there? Maybe she’s trying to make it taste nicer by putting some sort of lotion on it, although you have never once complained about the taste.

The clincher comes when she starts moaning. Her voice has changed; it’s deeper, and she calls out much louder than quiet, sly Lena would ever do.

“What the hell?”  You sit up, pull the covers off you head and see Lena’s friend Nicol lying there is a pre-orgasmic glow.

“Hey, I was enjoying that. Keep going.”

“Whuh..? Where’s Lena?”

“Downstairs watching TV. Something with Johnny Depp is on that she didn’t want to miss.”

“Oh…” You just sit there looking dumbfounded.

“Oh, man. I knew we should have tied you up,” she says, half to herself. “I would always tie my boyfriend up for something like this.  But Lena said you were such a bimbo it wouldn’t be necessary. Anyway are you going to get started? I’m starting to cool down here.”

Learning from Female Submission

I’m getting a lot more into reading blogs by women subs and switches lately and have had a kind of revelation as a result.

There are some simple reasons for reading women’s blogs. I admit, one of these is sheer perviness. I get to combine my interest in submission with my interest in…uh, women.

i type naked and on my knees as a sign of my submission to Master. He instructed me to kneel for Him naked and a cold but delicious shiver ran through my body and i felt myself instantly become wet at the thought of kneeling for Him.

Really, the idea of dominating a woman like this appeals to me, as well as the idea of being a woman in this position. And also, it’s just good to know there are people out there having a good time with their minds and bodies. The whole thing is just hot.

But there’s another reason for my new reading habits. I think I relate more to what women are saying about sexual submission, because many women bloggers seem to understand inherently that they are switches rather than just submissives, even if this is not a part of their relationship. In the words of the Sex Warrior (a fairly new blog, just started last month):

Today I find myself struggling with my submission to Master. I am a Switch in D/s (Dominant/submissive) relationships, which means I can and like to both Dominate and be submissive, although at the moment I’m not being Dominant with anyone and am exploring my submission only, by choice. In our relationship he is only ever Master, he is a Dominant and not a Switch, and I am only submissive to him and no one else. However, there is Dominance within me as a woman and as a sexual being and sometimes the two do battle within me when I am with him…

Now, when a male sub says he is “struggling with submission”, it is very often something along the lines of “I feel like if I stop pushing, the whole D/s thing will fall by the wayside.” In other words, they conflate the ‘D’ and the ‘s’ into the same desire.

I’ve read dozens of posts like that in the past year – but far less often from women. I think maybe women in submission are more inclined to realise that they are dominant as well as submissive, and understand that their need to ‘push’ their partner is an expression of dominance, not submission.

So, women like the Sex Warrior are less likely to try and ‘make’ their partner more dominant; they are too busy trying to reconcile their own conflicting desires to dominate and to submit. That’s my theory, anyway.

I don’t know what the gender difference is based on. Men just seem more inclined to kink obsessively on the purity of true male submission, while women are more balanced, more inclined to let things go?

Whatever the case, there is a noticeable lack of ‘bottom-topping’ stuff on submission blogs by women, which makes them pretty appealing reading from my perspective.

Anyway, after reading some of this kinda stuff, I’m starting to realise that my sexuality is just plain old kinky by nature rather than purely submissive, and that in another life, I could be dominant, if I was with the right person.

That old male-sub desire I had a few years back for Michelle to be ‘more dominant’  has now totally faded. I don’t need that at all, in fact. What I really need is to deal with is that I am also potentially dominant, and that potential may never be fulfilled, because of the relationship I am in.

So, maybe it turns out that dominance is the part of my sexuality which has no outlet. The submission side is well looked after.

Like I said this is kind of a revelation for me. While I no longer struggle with the notion that Michelle will never fully dominate me in all the ways that I imagined, I must now accept the closely related fact that I cannot fully dominate Michelle. Sounds blindingly obvious now I understand it, but it has taken me a while to get to this point.

(Incidentally I have asked Michelle about switching and she has no interest at present).

I have had a few domination fantasies over the past year which I now understand more fully. Interestingly, they never work if I think about Michelle being submissive; the program just crashes. So I have to summon up a token submissive girlfriend for the occasion and then take out my desires upon her. It’s all good clean dirty fun and my fantasy usually ends with me coming my brains out. (Obviously that’s where my fantasy and my reality have to part ways.)

Anyway, one cannot have all things in life, and I feel no great pangs of unfairness at the fact that I am not in a dominant role in my sex life. Generally, I’m a pretty happy sub.

But one thing does kinda weird me out, though. All that time I spent thinking my heart’s desire was to be ‘truly’ submissive, there was an entirely contradictory aspect of myself  still lurking unrecognized, ready to derail the whole deal.

What if I had gotten what I thought wanted, an aggressively dominant partner? Would I have suddenly fixated on my own desire to dominate her, with an equally powerful obsession? That’s where kink could get pretty addictive, and I could end up never enjoying what I had because I was always looking for what I did not have.

So, self-knowledge is great and all that, but maybe there’s a danger in declaring that I know myself too early. I have to admit that there’s still going to be things about myself I don’t know. The real danger for someone like me is to use my will to set things in stone, and then realise a few years later there was something else I needed to deal with. I figure it’s better to keep things open, and not follow any script too closely, even the ones of my own making.

So, for the time being I am:

• chaste
• sexually submissive and fairly masochistic
• fairly obliging domestically, but not totally submissive because it is  impractical, and kinda boring
• inclined to be dominant if I got the chance.

But I’m also open to the idea that there might be other things around the corner. This is a weird and wonderful can of worms, indeed.

Why I do Not Wear A Chastity Device

(In answer to a a comment by Thumper).

The reason is: because Michelle has never asked me to do so.

I have suggested to her that I might be into it on a number of occasions, but she is not really interested. In fact, she says she likes it that I can get lots of erections, but not come. She also likes to be able to touch me there, and quite often fondles me to the point where I am hard, and them flits away, laughing.

Also, I can’t say for sure that I would actually be into wearing a belt. I suspect it might be fun. But I can’t see myself wearing one for my own purposes, when she has not asked me to wear it. To me, this would be like keeping chaste when she had not asked me to do so. It would become ‘my’ thing, something that I did for myself. It would not be part of our relationship, just a personal thing.

I guess you could argue that if I did it for a while, she might become interested, but as I said a while back, I have stopped doing that kind of ‘leading‘ for the foreseeable future. So I am just enjoying the semi-submissive thing that Michelle seems to go for by nature.

I guess Michelle is really only interested in some aspects of the D/s thing and not others. She likes the domination and control, and the thrill of teasing and denying me. She also likes tying me up, and inflicting pain on me in various ways, and is experimenting with all of that in a way that I really don’t want to interfere with.

But she doesn’t seem to get anything out of strap-ons, or devices. C’est la vie.